Monday, December 31, 2012

random thoughts about 2012... and 2013...

truth be told, 2012 did not start off great... the passing of my father on jan 5, 2012 was simultaneously difficult and, in a way, a blessing... meaning, he had been suffering, and in his opinion, not really living, given all the pain and restrictions of being riddled with cancer... so, while sad, it was hard to not be glad that he wasn't suffering anymore...

still... with the first anniversary of his death bearing down upon me, i can't help but be sad sometimes... i have tried to be extra-positive this holiday season and really enjoy it, and really be there for my kids, who last year, spent a lot of time alone while i was taking care of my dad... and i can honestly say that i have truly enjoyed THIS holiday season... 2012  has had its ups and downs, for sure... but i'm ready to bring on the new year!

so, for 2013, i have compiled a list of goals? tasks??  i don't know what to call them... from experience, i know that calling them "resolutions" has no effect on me whatsoever... here's the list...

eat healthier
exercise more
get my new blog going (details coming soon!)
get my budget in order
plan for some BIG changes coming in 2013
watch my kids become adults, graduate high school, and start college and their grown-up lives
smile more
stop hating pictures of myself
tone down the sarcasm (who am i kidding... :)
say no when i need to
make new friends (something i've started to do in 2012 and am loving!)
meet johnny depp (what?)
get over this shy, wallflower thing i've been doing my whole life

2013 is going to be a busy, and amazing year!  i mean, it's got a '13' in it, so how can it NOT be a great year??

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

random new fall tv reviews... 2012 edition...

hey... has anybody else checked out any of the new fall tv shows this season?  yeah??  me too...

chicago fire - great balls of fire! this show is worth watching for the shirtless firemen alone, but, surprisingly enough is a pretty decent show story-wise, as well... it kinda makes me wanna buy a house in chicago... and set it on fire... of course, i'd wanna be trapped in the house, so kelly severide (taylor kinney) could save me... i'd probs need mouth-to-mouth...

go on - this is my favorite new fall sitcom this year... matthew perry's character is recovering from the death of his wife, which makes the "com" part of sitcom that much more tricky... but the wacky characters in his support group, combined with his own egotistical spirit, make a great combo for funny...

revolution - i've only watched two episodes of this... with subsequent episodes piling up on my dvr... but i love it... and everyone's pretty, cuz that matters... i saw a funny tweet by rainn wilson that referred to it as "when models have no electricity"... that's pretty damn accurate!  i have a feeling, though, that it may go the way of past dramadventure shows such as terra nova, life on mars, and off the map... canceled after one season... fingers crossed it doesn't...

homeland - yes, i know this isn't technically new THIS season, but it IS new to me... as i just discovered it and spent many hours getting through season one and every episode of season two over the last few weeks... i'm finding this show seriously addictive... especially season 2... and of course i'm now annoyed that i have to wait to watch it week to week... sundays take a long time to get here...

there's a few other new shows (arrow, beauty and the beast, and elementary) just piling up on my dvr that i hope i have time to watch sometime soon... i'll update this review accordingly once i decide if i like them or not :)

what new shows are you watching this season?

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

random beliebers...

O.M.G.  wanna know what happened on october 9, 2012??  do you???  my daughter and her friends (pictured here) had their lives changed f.o.r.e.v.e.r. after attending......  wait for it.... wait for it....

THE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT (here in our town)

this photo, taken right after the lights went up... right after his last song (Baby... for those wondering... the ending lyrics of which are "I'm gone....") right after he disappeared into a small square hole in the stage... this photo, represents exactly what was happening during the ENTIRE concert...

they pretty much cried through every single song... they could barely sing they were crying so much... except for that part in Boyfriend where he talks about "chillin' by the fire while we're eatin' fondue..."  they SCREAMED that part... and looked as if they were having seizures... the good kind of seizures... you know,  the kind of seizures one has when in the same room as Justin Bieber (even a GIANT room and you're SUPER far away from him.)

point is, they will all remember this forever... they will live to tell this story to their children... and grandchildren... this story about seeing Justin Bieber live and in person...

have you ever seen/met anyone that you were so excited to meet/see that you cried??

that will happen to me the day i meet Johnny Depp... seriously... cue the tears...

Thursday, September 13, 2012

random fall fashion... that i hate... a lot...

bad floral...
recently i went school shopping with my daughter... besides the fact that i really hate shopping... especially when the mall is super crowded... we also had to deal with a couple of fall fashion options that were... not great...

more bad floral...
the most prominent U.G.L.Y. fashion trend seems to be the bad floral print... they're putting these on pants, tops, hats, scarves, gloves, and anywhere else they can stamp it... i like the sound of music as much as the next guy, but seriously, who thinks walking around looking like grandma's sofa is a great idea?  it's not...

and then there's the lace... on every damn thing... why?  lace is itchy and mostly not cute...

itchy lace...
really? these are NOT pants.

stuff i do like:  hi-low skirts, denim jackets, and boots... always boots :)

what fashions do you hate this year?

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

random reviews... consolidation station...

so... i started this other blog awhile back called "i simply reviews" where i was reviewing reviewing reviewing something for you, but maintaining both blogs is becoming a bother... so consider this consolidation station!

i'm including links here to all of the cool stuff i reviewed over on "i simply reviews" and i will do future reviews right here on random liana... they will be random reviews... just like they were when they were simply reviews :)

thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

random random knowledge...

question:  what is one of my most favorite things to do?

answer:  trivia night!

that's right... going with my friends to wherever we go and competing against other people in our knowledge of randomness... and probably uselessness...  except that knowing it can help us win... and we like to win... sometimes there are even prizes... like cash... or gift cards... or dashboard hula dancers... or not-actually-sarcastic sarcastic 8-balls... we have won all of these things... some of them more than once...

question:  what is simultaneously one of the most fun and yet most nerve wracking parts of the evening?

answer:  coming up with a team name.

inevitably, someone will be announcing said team name over some sort of sound system... hopefully right after the words "and the winner is..." so you want it to be clever... and relevant... and for sure not stupid... we've honed our team-naming skills over the years and we rarely use the same team name twice... lately we've taken to building a team name around something newsworthy... like the olympics... or the death of phyllis diller (that was a brilliant one, bee-tee-dubs, we even got a mention on the trivia blog... yay us!)

question:  what is my least favorite thing about trivia night?

answer:  being the one who has to compete in the dance-off.

i suck at the dance-off... if you and i are ever in a dance-off, i promise you will win... i will gladly secede to anybody else in the dance off... i don't have moves... or groovy shades... or the guts to produce any of these things in a bar full of people... so, yeah, you with the running man and the sprinkler you've been practicing in your living room?  you win.

question:  when is our next trivia night???

answer:  ?

Monday, July 30, 2012

random first initial B...

it has occurred to me that with a first initial of 'b', there are many things that can go wrong (or right) depending on your last, and sometimes middle, initials... come along on this journey of discovery with me...

BA - bachelor of arts... or bare-ass
BB - gun
BC - british columbia, or "because" in text shorthand...
BD - as in bd little eyes...
BE - as in "where you be at?"
BF - boyfriend... or best friend...
BG - as in heeBGbees... those things you get when stuff is creepy...
BH - butt head?  big head??
BI - as in, bi-sexual...
BJ - and the bear... that's not where you went, is it?
BK - burger king
BL - black light?  i didn't promise they would ALL be clever...
BM - ew.
BN - barnes and noble... or big nuts?  now i'm just grasping...
BO - body odor... more ew.
BP - as in big oil (you need to say "big oil" in your best texas accent.)
BQ - bovine queen... one of the names that didn't make the cut when they were naming dairy queen...
BR - brrrr...
BS - pretty much what this whole blog post is...
BT - this one only sucks if you have a middle name like ulysses... or archibald... or ebenezer... or indigo... but mostly ulysses...
BU - seriously... i got nothin'...
BV - still nothin'... unless your middle name is ingrid... then you could be one-third of 90s hip hop group...
BW - if your middle initial is also B, then you could be a part of that class of women known as big beautiful women... and if your middle name is mitchell, then you are a fancy car...
BX - if your middle name is malcolm, then this would be really cool if you're one of those gen xers...
BY - by the by...
BZ - or beezy... i've been called this before... it's not great... (if you don't know why, you should urban dictionary it)

did i really just make that work for the entire alphabet?  pretty close... BYe :)

Tuesday, July 17, 2012


so today marks the one year anniversary of the beginning of random liana... which means that one year ago today, i was SUPER tired from staying up all night for the harry potter deathly hallows part two midnight premier... which means i should probably be saying things to my kids like "you the shut the fuck up... ALRIGHT?"  (sorry about the language... it is a quote after all... and it makes sense in the context... if you don't get it, just read my very first blog post here :)

it's been almost a month since i blogged... must be the lazy, hazy days of summer contaminating my every fiber... i have a whole list of stuff to blog about, just need the time and quiet to really sit down with my demented (ahem, random) thoughts and spit them out on paper (so to speak...)

feel free to peruse some of my past posts in the meantime... or you can also check out my other blog "I Simply Reviews" where i give my opinion on stuff...

keepin' it random...

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

random reading... rory gilmore edition...

i might have mentioned it before... but in case you missed it, or didn't know... i am a HUGE fan of the no-longer-produced tv show Gilmore Girls...  on that show, Rory Gilmore (the daughter part of the mother-daughter team known as the Gilmore Girls) is a big-time reader... in fact, she was known throughout the show to have more books for pleasure reading filling up her backpack than textbooks... sooooo... today... i ran across something amazing!

The Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge... there are 343 books on this list... i've read 93, and am in the process of reading the 94th... how many have you read?  summer bucket list anyone?

i've marked the ones I've read in BLUE :)
1984 by George Orwell
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon
An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
Archidamian War by Donald Kagan
The Art of Fiction by Henry James
The Art of War by Sun Tzu
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Atonement by Ian McEwan
Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
Babe by Dick King-Smith
Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women by Susan Faludi
Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie
Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Beloved by Toni Morrison

Beowulf: A New Verse Translation by Seamus Heaney
The Bhagava Gita
The Bielski Brothers: The True Story of Three Men Who Defied the Nazis, Built a Village in the Forest, and Saved 1,200 Jews by Peter Duffy
Bitch in Praise of Difficult Women by Elizabeth Wurtzel
A Bolt from the Blue and Other Essays by Mary McCarthy
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Brick Lane by Monica Ali
Bridgadoon by Alan Jay Lerner
Candide by Voltaire
The Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
Carrie by Stephen King
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White

The Children’s Hour by Lillian Hellman
Christine by Stephen King
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
The Code of the Woosters by P.G. Wodehouse
The Collected Short Stories by Eudora Welty
The Collected Stories of Eudora Welty by Eudora Welty
A Comedy of Errors by William Shakespeare
Complete Novels by Dawn Powell
The Complete Poems by Anne Sexton
Complete Stories by Dorothy Parker
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas père
Cousin Bette by Honor’e de Balzac
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
The Crimson Petal and the White by Michel Faber
The Crucible by Arthur Miller
Cujo by Stephen King
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende
David and Lisa by Dr Theodore Issac Rubin M.D
David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
The Da Vinci -Code by Dan Brown
Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol
Demons by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Deenie by Judy Blume

The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson
The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band by Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mars and Nikki Sixx (this one was actually read by Lorelai Gilmore on the show...)
The Divine Comedy by Dante
The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells
Don Quijote by Cervantes
Driving Miss Daisy by Alfred Uhrv
Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales & Poems by Edgar Allan Poe (I've read some of this... but my darling daughter has hijacked this book and it is lost somewhere in the black hole that is her bedroom...)
Eleanor Roosevelt by Blanche Wiesen Cook
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe
Ella Minnow Pea: A Novel in Letters by Mark Dunn
Eloise by Kay Thompson
Emily the Strange by Roger Reger
Emma by Jane Austen
Empire Falls by Richard Russo
Encyclopedia Brown: Boy Detective by Donald J. Sobol
Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
Ethics by Spinoza
Europe through the Back Door, 2003 by Rick Steves
Eva Luna by Isabel Allende
Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer - reading this one right now!
Extravagance by Gary Krist
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Fahrenheit 9/11 by Michael Moore
The Fall of the Athenian Empire by Donald Kagan
Fat Land: How Americans Became the Fattest People in the World by Greg Critser
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson
The Fellowship of the Ring: Book 1 of The Lord of the Ring by J. R. R. Tolkien
Fiddler on the Roof by Joseph Stein

The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
Finnegan’s Wake by James Joyce
Fletch by Gregory McDonald
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Franny and Zooey by J. D. Salinger
Freaky Friday by Mary Rodgers
Galapagos by Kurt Vonnegut
Gender Trouble by Judith Butler
George W. Bushism: The Slate Book of the Accidental Wit and Wisdom of our 43rd President by Jacob Weisberg
Gidget by Fredrick Kohner
Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels
The Godfather: Book 1 by Mario Puzo
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
Goldilocks and the Three Bears by Alvin Granowsky
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
The Good Soldier by Ford Maddox Ford
The Gospel According to Judy Bloom
The Graduate by Charles Webb
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

The Group by Mary McCarthy
Hamlet by William Shakespeare
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J. K. Rowling

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers
Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders by Vincent Bugliosi and Curt Gentry
Henry IV, part I by William Shakespeare
Henry IV, part II by William Shakespeare
Henry V by William Shakespeare
High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon
Holidays on Ice: Stories by David Sedaris
The Holy Barbarians by Lawrence Lipton
House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III
The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende
How to Breathe Underwater by Julie Orringer
How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss
How the Light Gets in by M. J. Hyland
Howl by Allen Gingsburg
The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo
The Iliad by Homer
I’m with the Band by Pamela des Barres
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Inferno by Dante
Inherit the Wind by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee
Iron Weed by William J. Kennedy
It Takes a Village by Hillary Clinton
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
The Jumping Frog by Mark Twain
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
Just a Couple of Days by Tony Vigorito
The Kitchen Boy: A Novel of the Last Tsar by Robert Alexander
Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
Lady Chatterleys’ Lover by D. H. Lawrence
The Last Empire: Essays 1992-2000 by Gore Vidal
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
The Legend of Bagger Vance by Steven Pressfield
Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them by Al Franken
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens
The Little Locksmith by Katharine Butler Hathaway
The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
The Lottery: And Other Stories by Shirley Jackson
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
The Love Story by Erich Segal
Macbeth by William Shakespeare
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
The Manticore by Robertson Davies
Marathon Man by William Goldman
The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter by Simone de Beauvoir
Memoirs of General W. T. Sherman by William Tecumseh Sherman
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
The Meaning of Consuelo by Judith Ortiz Cofer
Mencken’s Chrestomathy by H. R. Mencken
The Merry Wives of Windsro by William Shakespeare
The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
The Miracle Worker by William Gibson
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
The Mojo Collection: The Ultimate Music Companion by Jim Irvin
Moliere: A Biography by Hobart Chatfield Taylor
A Monetary History of the United States by Milton Friedman
Monsieur Proust by Celeste Albaret
A Month Of Sundays: Searching For The Spirit And My Sister by Julie Mars
A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway
Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
Mutiny on the Bounty by Charles Nordhoff and James Norman Hall
My Lai 4: A Report on the Massacre and It’s Aftermath by Seymour M. Hersh
My Life as Author and Editor by H. R. Mencken
My Life in Orange: Growing Up with the Guru by Tim Guest
Myra Waldo’s Travel and Motoring Guide to Europe, 1978 by Myra Waldo
My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult
The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer
The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin
Nervous System: Or, Losing My Mind in Literature by Jan Lars Jensen
New Poems of Emily Dickinson by Emily Dickinson
The New Way Things Work by David Macaulay
Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich
Night by Elie Wiesel
Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
The Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism by William E. Cain, Laurie A. Finke, Barbara E. Johnson, John P. McGowan
Novels 1930-1942: Dance Night/Come Back to Sorrento, Turn, Magic Wheel/Angels on Toast/A Time to be Born by Dawn Powell
Notes of a Dirty Old Man by Charles Bukowski
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Old School by Tobias Wolff
On the Road by Jack Kerouac
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life by Amy Tan
Oracle Night by Paul Auster
Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
Othello by Shakespeare
Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens
The Outbreak of the Peloponnesian War by Donald Kagan
Out of Africa by Isac Dineson
The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton
A Passage to India by E.M. Forster
The Peace of Nicias and the Sicilian Expedition by Donald Kagan
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Peyton Place by Grace Metalious
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
Pigs at the Trough by Arianna Huffington
Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi
Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain
The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby
The Portable Dorothy Parker by Dorothy Parker
The Portable Nietzche by Fredrich Nietzche
The Price of Loyalty: George W. Bush, the White House, and the Education of Paul O’Neill by Ron Suskind
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Property by Valerie Martin
Pushkin: A Biography by T. J. Binyon
Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw
Quattrocento by James Mckean
A Quiet Storm by Rachel Howzell Hall
Rapunzel by Grimm Brothers
The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe

The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm by Kate Douglas Wiggin
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
Rescuing Patty Hearst: Memories From a Decade Gone Mad by Virginia Holman
The Return of the King: The Lord of the Rings Book 3 by J. R. R. Tolkien
R Is for Ricochet by Sue Grafton
Rita Hayworth by Stephen King
Robert’s Rules of Order by Henry Robert
Roman Holiday by Edith Wharton
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf
A Room with a View by E. M. Forster
Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin
The Rough Guide to Europe, 2003 Edition
Sacred Time by Ursula Hegi
Sanctuary by William Faulkner
Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay by Nancy Milford
Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller by Henry James
The Scarecrow of Oz by Frank L. Baum
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
Seabiscuit: An American Legend by Laura Hillenbrand

The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
Secrets of the Flesh: A Life of Colette by Judith Thurman
Selected Hotels of Europe
Selected Letters of Dawn Powell: 1913-1965 by Dawn Powell
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
A Separate Peace by John Knowles
Several Biographies of Winston Churchill
Sexus by Henry Miller
The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Shane by Jack Shaefer
The Shining by Stephen King
Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
S Is for Silence by Sue Grafton
Slaughter-house Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Small Island by Andrea Levy
Snows of Kilimanjaro by Ernest Hemingway
Snow White and Rose Red by Grimm Brothers
Social Origins of Dictatorship and Democracy: Lord and Peasant in the Making of the Modern World by Barrington Moore
The Song of Names by Norman Lebrecht
Song of the Simple Truth: The Complete Poems of Julia de Burgos by Julia de Burgos
The Song Reader by Lisa Tucker
Songbook by Nick Hornby
The Sonnets by William Shakespeare
Sonnets from the Portuegese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Sophie’s Choice by William Styron
The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
Speak, Memory by Vladimir Nabokov
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
The Story of My Life by Helen Keller
A Streetcar Named Desiree by Tennessee Williams
Stuart Little by E. B. White
Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust
Swimming with Giants: My Encounters with Whales, Dolphins and Seals by Anne Collett
Sybil by Flora Rheta Schreiber
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Tender Is The Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Term of Endearment by Larry McMurtry
Time and Again by Jack Finney
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
To Have and Have Not by Ernest Hemingway
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
The Tragedy of Richard III by William Shakespeare
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
The Trial by Franz Kafka
The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elisabeth Robinson
Truth & Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
Ulysses by James Joyce
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath 1950-1962 by Sylvia Plath
Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Unless by Carol Shields
Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann
The Vanishing Newspaper by Philip Meyers
Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
Velvet Underground’s The Velvet Underground and Nico (Thirty Three and a Third series) by Joe Harvard
The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
Walt Disney’s Bambi by Felix Salten

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
We Owe You Nothing – Punk Planet: The Collected Interviews edited by Daniel Sinker
What Colour is Your Parachute? 2005 by Richard Nelson Bolles
What Happened to Baby Jane by Henry Farrell
When the Emperor Was Divine by Julie Otsuka
Who Moved My Cheese? Spencer Johnson
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf by Edward Albee
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire
The Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Baum
Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
happy reading!!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

random bread puns (buns) ha...

my family is weird... we know this...

the other night, my son got home from work late, and my daughter returned home from a dress rehearsal late... i was waiting up for them, but running on about three hours of sleep... needless to say we were all a little loopy...

out of this loopiness, bread puns ensued... i have no idea why...

but the conversation went a little something like this:

i'm tired, i knead to go to bed...

you really need to roll with the punches...

seriously, i'm feeling crumby...

i doughn't need this...

you won't get a rise outta me!

be quiet.  quit your challahing...

you're a gluten for trouble...

my brain is toasted...

rye doughn't you go to bed already?

this conversation is getting stale...

i'm  half-baked and bready for bed...

i loaf you...

go foccacia yourself...

Friday, June 8, 2012

random what's trending tuesday... friday edition (just cuz)... ghetto ice cream flavors...

welcome to friday's edition of "what's trending tuesday - ghetto ice cream flavors edition"

it's not tuesday, but how could i pass this one up... #ghettoicecreamflavors  here are some of my flav-o-favs:

who's my baby daddy (mystery flavor)
i just beat my kid in the grocery store black and blue... berry
git it gurl swirl
eviction notice pink bubblegum
child support cherry
food stamp fudge
strung out strawberry
bootylicious berry
hookers and cream
crack rocks in the road
pina cocaine lada
welfare watermelon
resisting arrest red fanta freeze
lace front coconut

can i getta scoop?

Thursday, June 7, 2012

random tats...

ok... i've been thinking for awhile now about getting a third tattoo... people told me i would be addicted, and they were not wrong... it's been a few years now and i've (almost) forgotten the pain of the last one... AND, more importantly, i think i've figured out WHAT i want to get... it's an extremely crucial decision as one should not just get any tattoo just to get a tattoo... i've got a plan now...

my first is still my favorite... my liana bracelet... liana=ivy, in case you didn't know... real bracelets kinda get in my way and annoy me, but i love the LOOK of them, so now i have my very own permanent bracelet :)  yay, me.

my second is on my left foot (but it doesn't have any connection to the movie.)  i'm a flip-flop girl and have always loved the look of foot tattoos, so i knew WHERE i wanted it, and i love dragonflies, they're the only bug i like... they're so pretty and magical looking... so i knew WHAT i wanted... and then i had a few of the ivy added around it to tie it with my ivy bracelet... the only thing is... foot tattoos HURT!  super ouch... but i L.O.V.E. it, so it was worth it...  

my third?  i'm not ready to disclose the what or where, so you'll just have to stay tuned...

getting excited!  getting inked!!  again!!!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

random what's trending tuesday... carbs edition...

welcome to today's edition of "what's trending tuesday - carbs edition"

so, yeah... nothing trending on twitter today is inspiring me at all... but apparently i, myself, am trending carbs... so many carbs... can't stop eating... all damn day.  eggs and toast for breakfast... leftover panang curry with a buttload of rice for lunch #1... top ramen with veggies and scrambled eggs for lunch #2... a handful of mini chocolate chips... ok, it might've been two handfuls... for lunch dessert... blueberry waffles with blueberries and maple syrup for dinner dessert... that i ate BEFORE dinner... an entire package of spinach and asiago cheese ravioli... which i'm pretty sure was meant to serve 4... yes, four humans... for dinner... i guess that's one way to get all the bad food out of the house... just eat it all in one day...

my saving grace... i went on a long walk today...

but feeling sick now... ugh.

Monday, June 4, 2012

random teenagerness...

i think i was born to be a teenager... except for when i actually was a teenager... that was awkward... when i actually was a teenager... but now?  i make an awesome teenager... just ask my kids... not that teenagers should have kids... but go ahead... ask them... they'll tell you... and so will their friends... yeah, i'm that mom.

i have a million examples, but i'll narrow it down to 16...  or 6... i can be lazy... like a teenager...

on our way to the concert!
1.  me and my daughter at a big time rush concert.   i was jumping around, screaming, and singing along like every other teenage girl in the place... also i knew all the words to the all the songs... and i was wearing the t-shirt... when we meet them in september, we will be sporting carlos helmets... if none of this makes sense to you, it's because you are not a teenage girl... which i clearly am... team carlos.

justin bieber
2.  i'm taking my daughter and her friend to the justin bieber concert in october... and i think i might just be more excited about it than the both of them put together... we will be making t-shirts, sporting fondue forks, and stalking the tacoma dome area that day in the hopes of running into scooter braun and scoring some front row tickets... if you don't know who scooter braun is, then you're not a teenage girl... which i clearly am... beliebers!  (go ahead and judge, i know you want to, i'm probably judging your choice of footwear anyhow...)

at the hpdh2 midnight premiere...
3.  midnight movie premiers... i've been to several... they are 95% occupied by teenagers... and nobody in any of them would've thought me any different... prime example... the final harry potter movie... i was in row with 27 teenagers... that's right... me... and 27 teenagers... and i was taking pictures of people's blow-up broomsticks and posting them on facebook... they looked like giant blow-up wieners and i thought it was funny... i'm totally a teenager.  and there was also the matter of the stealth acquisition of the special harry potter 3D glasses... but we weren't seeing the 3D version... i'm so not a great role model... :D

4.  i have pretty much every social network covered... facebook, twitter, tumblr, instagram, viddy... blah blah blah... and my kids... and many of their friends... are my friends on these social networks... but not cuz i need to check up on them... cuz thankfully, i have incredibly smart and awesome kids (if i do say so myself)  and their friends are pretty awesome kids too... except for that one kid... there's always that one kid...

5.  reality shows... i watch them... especially the ones targeted at teenagers... like jersey shore... i'm not ashamed to admit it... pauly d is hot... cabsrhere!

6.  the gutter... that's pretty much where i take every. single. conversation.  not everyone finds this entertaining, but thankfully my kids, my friends, and my kids' friends are right there with me... i can be extremely inappropriate at times... giggle fits have ensued...

7.  psshh.  i'm done... i wanna ignore my homework and take a nap... but first, food.

note:  for those of you that care... i am also a responsible adult when i need to be, it's just not as fun as being a teenager :)

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

random what's trending tuesday... #50thingsihate edition

welcome to today's edition of "what's trending tuesday - 50 things i hate"

it's not 10 things i hate about you (awesome movie, btw) but FIVE times that... and it's trending on twitter... wtf?  so much for filling the world with love...

here are 50 things that people hate... in no particular order...
(taken directly from the #50thingsIHate twitter feed)

  1. stupid people (i'm pretty sure this is my number one, too)
  2. a pretty girl that smokes
  3. awkward silences
  4. my exes
  5. chipped nail polish
  6. spiders
  7. when the padding in my bikini top gets all messed up (shouldn't the padding in your bikini be your... nvm...)
  8. being drunk and jumping into 2ft deep of water and locking my keys in my running car that same night (not drinking might be an option here)
  9. people who say band isn't a sport (band isn't a sport)
  10. people that actually name 50 things they hate
  11. people who call themselves different (just like everybody else)
  12. the girl who flirts with everyone
  13. correcting my spelling when his is incorrect.  come at me bro
  14. stupid twitter trends that ask for lists of things that couldn't possibly fit the 140 character limit
  15. fake sports fans
  16. when people write "no filter" on instagram.  i don't care if you used a filter or not
  17. when i'm walking through miami and someone eats my face (i also hate when that happens)
  18. slow loading of internet
  19. calling coke and dr. pepper "pop"
  20. when you get mad and boys assume you're on your period
  21. the smell of cigarette smoke
  22. when girls pretend to be drunk
  23. pc gamers who think they are better than everyone else
  24. people who call other people ratchet when they clearly are the epitome of ratchet (nice word)
  25. when hoes call other hoes hoes
  26. when girls come to school lookin' all fancy and then can't even walk in their heels (it's called entertainment, people)
  27. not having food in my house
  28. when people purposefully make me laugh when i have a drink in my mouth
  29. bad hair days
  30. twitter, but i love tweeting... if that makes sense (it doesn't)
  31. people hovering over my food
  32. people that smack their food
  33. wearing a cute outfit and seeing no one... dressed like a hobo i see the whole world (my life)
  34. listing things i hate
  35. reading lists of things people hate
  36. when people bail at the last minute
  37. not having enough toilet paper
  38. when i forget the cape to my superhero suit... can't fly without it... and i hate walking (seriously)
  39. dora asking the same questions over and over and talking to me like i'm slow (just steal her backpack and run)
  40. fake people (like robots?)
  41. people pointing out my split ends (why are they that close to your hair?)
  42. when people walk in turtle mode in front of you
  43. douche bags that take a million shirtless flexing muscle mirror pictures
  44. dudes that wear under armor with nothing over it
  45. picking up a stuffed animal in the claw machine then all of a sudden when the claw reaches the top it falls back down (there goes that 50 cents)
  46. people who breathe (sheesh... tough crowd)
  47. buying carmex on monday, losing it on tuesday (this is why i keep carmex in 17 different locations)
  48. public restroooms
  49. banging my foot into furniture
  50. mosquito bites
clearly... lots of first world problems going on in twitterland...

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

random what's trending tuesday... #jimmycliff edition

welcome to today's edition of "what's trending tuesday - jimmy cliff edition"

what?  super surprised to see jimmy cliff trending today... dudes been jammin' the reggae tunes since the 70s... so why's he trending today?

the best i could figure out is because he was performing a new song (he has a new song?) on some bbc show, later... with jools holland... nope, never heard of it, but whatevs... don't care... just happy :)  cuz i love me some jimmy cliff!

his cover of johnny nash's "i can see clearly now" is probably my most favorite reggae song of all time... if you've been locked in a box all of your life and have no idea what song that is, go watch cool runnings, right now.  go watch it... and then get yourself the soundtrack, because on a grey and rainy spring day in seattle (exactly like today,) it will make you feel sunshiney all over (if i had a sunshine emoticon, this is where i'd put it.)

jimmy actually has a few songs that are pretty mainstream besides "i can see clearly now", like his cover of cat steven's "wild world" and "you can get it if you really want" from the soundtrack to his movie the harder they come...

but if you set yourself up with his 2-disc, 42-song anthology, you will be in reggae heaven...

my fondest memory of jimmy cliff music was from reggae night thursdays at the cavern in pullman a million years ago when i was a college student... i don't think the cavern even exists over there anymore... let along reggae night... well, it does, just in the form of a bar and grill called valhalla, but heading down the skinny stairway into the dungeon-like atmosphere to dance to reggae was a treat on thursday nights back in the day...

keep on jammin', jimmy :)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

random girl (gay) power anthems...

so... we all know that beyonce is kinda the queen of the girl power anthems... (i'm including destiny's child too, since we all know they were basically beyonce)

independent women
single ladies (put a ring on it)
run the world (girls)

too name just a few...

i haven't done any official research, but i think that these songs (and many many more like them by many many other artists) helped give many many girls/ladies/women a sense of independence and power...

but you know what kinda anthem songs i've never seen?

GAY power anthems!  (ok, i suppose lady gaga's born this way would fit into this category, but that's the only one i can think of.)

that's right... and i think it's about time we start seeing (hearing) more songs like that... and since jay-z is in the spotlight recently for backing obama's backing of marriage equality, who better to start producing these things than the man behind the woman of girl power anthems... just sayin'.

some title ideas i had... just off the top of my head...

he's the queen
homo you didn't
i'm coming out (oh wait... someone already did that, didn't they?)

sing it, girl.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

random what's trending tuesday... #nationalchocolatechipday edition...

welcome to today's edition of "what's trending tuesday - national chocolate chip day edition"

no way... national chocolate chip day??  seriously.  i haven't done any official-like checking, but it seems like every single day of the year there is something to celebrate... you know national-whatsit-whosit day?

i can get behind a holiday like this, but i think it should also come complete with a day off work... so people have time to properly celebrate the chocolate chip... there are cookies to be baked for heaven's sake!  and we all know it takes time to eat them right out of the bag... or dip them in peanut butter (yeah, try that... it's pretty awesome.)

and to think, if it weren't for "trends" i would've never known i needed to party like a chip star today...

it's clear that my life has thus far been missing that little something... and that little something is the chocolate chip, so i raise a tollhouse cookie to ya!

happy national chocolate chip day :)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

random what's trending tuesday... #shewee edition...

gonna try a new thing... devoting one blog a week (on tuesdays) to talk about what's trending on twitter... if you're on twitter, you know there's a little list on the left of your feed to show you what's trending that day... the things most twittering-types are twitting about...

and if you don't know, now you know.

welcome to today's edition of "what's trending tuesday - shewee edition"

the stuff that trends never fails to amaze me... as in, why in the h-e-double hockey sticks is that thing trending... on twitter... or anywhere?  so here goes... my first installment of "what's trending tuesday".

today the trend that caught my eye was #shewee... now i have to admit that i had no idea what a shewee was, so i clicked on it to see what kind of fascinating conversation was going on around this topic...

turns out a shewee is a urinating tool for women, you know... so we can pee like a man... because all that sitting down is evidently... exhausting...  ok, i'd be the first to admit that as a woman, one of the few things i'm a bit envious about men is the ability to pee standing up (that, and the whole menstrual thing...) but i'm not sure this fits the bill...

anyhow... men come equipped with this fancy "pee standing up" tool that women lack... and apparently "they" were right... necessity is the mother of invention (although the point of "necessity" here could be argued.)  have a watch as this fancy british gal explains how to "wee" like a man...

i'm not buying it... from what i can tell, you would just be left with a huge mess on your hands... literally... and then this other messy contraption that you would clearly have to put somewhere after you used it?  and i assume the whole point of using it would be places like camping or hiking or something like that... so what does one do with this thing that is disgustingly soiled upon one use?  and how many more things do we need in our lives to clean?

i can't even imagine how a topic like this started trending, but personally, i vote for the good old fashioned toilet... where i can have a seat... relax... and take a load off (if you will...) BUT, if you're intent on using this contraption... i have a better name...

the SheWhiz :)  because i'm super clever and stuff...

Friday, May 4, 2012

random hipster...

i'm not sure if you're as confused as i am, but i cannot figure out what it is that makes a hipster a hipster...

is it just that everything mainstream is just TOO mainstream?

is it the scarf... even in the heat of summer?

is it the overly large-framed glasses... that are likely not even prescriptionally required?  (yep... i just made up a new word... because all the regular words are too mainstream...)

on my everlasting journey to educate myself in all things completely stupid, i wasted a ridiculous amount of time researching what it means to be a hipster... and the best answer i found was neatly enclosed in a little-known sitcom "Happy Endings", i am now armed with the rules (pretty much verbatim from the episode "Dave of the Dead"... yeah, it was about zombies... and hipsters... which are almost the same thing, right?)

rule #1 - never try.  never put effort into anything.

rule #2 - only like things ironically... books, movies, tv shows, the environment... you should totally only like things because it would otherwise be totally uncool to like it... cool.

rule #3 - never show too much enthusiasm.  earth, wind & fire are playing, but you don't care, you don't wanna chair dance... whatevs.

final rule - everything is dumb... fro yo, over it.  other stuff, over it...

that's it... now you too can put the 'hip' in hipster... not that you care... you're so over it.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

random tp...

as i was (ahem) making use of a public restroom the other day, it occurred to me that the owners of these establishments (i.e. the ones who are making the executive decision as to which toilet paper to furnish these royal rooms with) have us by the short hairs.

don't get me started on those "rooms" which are completely out of this vitally necessary paper... which clearly happens enough to provide material for at least two Seinfeld scripts ("The Stall" and "The Pitch")...  or the whole over-under thing (duh, over)... not gonna cover that here...

my rant today is about those establishments that make the "money-saving" decision to outfit their stalls with the one-ply version... knowing nobody will make a stink about it... (pun intended)

i cannot even fathom why one-ply toilet paper exists...  other than being better-than-nothing, it's helpful to no one.  do you know anybody who purchases one-ply toilet paper for home use?  i don't... and i'm pretty sure if i did, it would be a deal-breaker...  if this is you, then sorry... i'm afraid we can't be friends.

as far as my "one-ply v. two-ply" research went (oh yeah, i researched) there are really just two things to consider when deciding which way to roll (damn, i am cracking myself up here - get it "crack"ing?? :)

comfort and price.

comfort is an easy sell... there is no such thing as comfortable one-ply... it is all scratchy and non-absorbent... if you want comfort, you have to spring for the two-ply.

and as far as price goes, while one-ply definitely appears less expensive than it's two-ply counterpart, it is NOT, in fact, half the price... and even if it were, would you really be saving money?  for argument sake, let's say it IS half the price... people still want the coverage provided by two-ply, so they would use twice as much... which equals exactly zero savings... but one-ply is not half the price of two-ply... it's closer to a quarter of the price, in which case, one-ply would really end up costing an establishment MORE money...

not to mention the "price" they pay for letting their customers know exactly how much they DON'T care about them... just sayin'.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

random me...

{Print via The I Am Project}
i love getting a little inspiration from other bloggers and this time i got it from one of my fav bloggers and iphoneographers, fatmumslim... thanks, chantelle!

she recently posted a "what makes you you" blog that got me inspired to think about the things that make me me :)

i encourage you to follow her blog (link above) and also on instagram @fatmumslim... she takes amazing pictures and sponsors cool "photo a day" projects.

soooo... another reason this blog post got me is because in early 2009 (before i blogged) i participated in one of those facebook note tagging things in which you were supposed to write 25 random things about yourself (and then tag 25 people... which i'm sure i didn't do... i doubt i even had 25 friends on facebook at the time...)  so, I'm resurrecting that list here, and adding in some updates for today's truths about me, but all in all, i haven't really changed that much in 3+ years...

note:  2009 things in black; 2012 things in  blue... with five new ones added for good measure :)

1) I saw the movie Titanic 13 the theater... after the first time I was (and still am) convinced that I was actually on the Titanic in a past life, not that I believe in past lives necessarily, it just all felt so completely familiar... as of april 15, 2012 - the 100-year anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, I have now seen it 15 times in the theater... and countless times on DVD...
2) I will never understand why people put raisins in cinnamon rolls and oatmeal cookies...
3) I am a sucker for underdog sports movies...
4) I haven't gone a single day without doing Sudoku in over three years... make that six years, and i've since added ken ken to my puzzle addiction...
5) I love the jszhh-jszhh sound that corduroy pants make when the legs rub together...
6) I would someday love to own a coffee shop with bookshelves full of books and big comfy chairs and couches... and coffee.
7) I am a nerd at heart.
8) I can't keep a plant alive to save my life... but my dogs and children are thriving :c)~
9) I REALLY want the Romancing the 70s 10-CD collection with bonus Ultimate Love Songs of the 70s.. and a snuggie. I've always said "If only my blanket had sleeves..."  I have since acquired both of these things... was fascinated by them for about a week, and haven't touched them since :)
10) If I swung that way (you know, cherry Chapstick and all), Jennifer Aniston would be my first choice.
11) I intend all puns.
12) I think sweater vests should be illegal...
13) I want to learn to bellydance. I already have the jingly bellydance belt, but it freaks my dog out... the belt, not the bellydancing...
14) I would love to run a marathon, but I hate to run. (hey, that sounds like Steven Wright... I probably stole it from him subconsciously)  i've done two half-marathons that about killed me, so no longer would i love to run a marathon... ever...  i'll probably stick to 5Ks from now on...
15) My dream trip to New York would include nothing but Broadway shows... and off-Broadway shows... and eating...
16) I will get to Italy someday...
17) I have a song in my heart... but most people wouldn't want to hear me sing it ;c} not that I care, I will sing anyways because that is what you do when you have a song in your heart!
18) Ahhh, if only I could see the Beatles and Nirvana live... not at the same time, of course... although I imagine Kurt Cobain could pull off "Revolution"... like in an MTV Live-type setting...
19) I cried when they thought Bolt was dead... yes, I know it was animated...
20) I love to make me up some portmanteaus! My favorite creation thus far is boobloons.
21) The Office is my most favorite show on television (yes, I have other favorites, they're just not as much favorites... my friends who are Brian Regan fans will appreciate the sno-cone reference)  while i do still love the office, my favorite all time tv series is definitely gilmore girls... which doesn't air anymore... but i watch all seven seasons on loop with my daughter and we still laugh and cry in all the same places...
22) Evidently, I cannot use the ellipsis too much...
23) O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?  still looking...
24) Writing with Sharpies is THE BEST!
25) My next step is to find a good therapist...  still looking... :)
26) I hate putting the clean dishes away from the dishwasher...
27) I have accepted that I love Boy Bands... 
28) I have discovered that I love to write... whether anybody reads it or not doesn't even matter to me...
29) I hate the cold.
30) I have recently become obsessed with living in Hawaii someday...

whew.  comment below with your lists... i love to know what makes other people tick :)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

random foods i don't like...

question.  how do you respond when someone offers you something to eat that you know you don't like... and you know you definitely don't wanna eat it?

  1. do you simply say "no, thank you" with a smile and hope they leave it at that (which we all know they never do.)?
  2. do you make a face along with some explanation like "yuck!"  or "gross!"?
  3. do you lie (like my dad always did), and tell them you're allergic?

i always try to stick to option one, but it rarely gets left at that... people who like certain things seem appalled, and sometimes even offended, that you don't have the exact same tastes in food... it's kinda funny :)

for those of you that get offended when people don't like some food item you're offering, (a) please just accept their "no, thank you" and move on; (b) don't try to convince them of its deliciousness... they already know it is not delicious... to them; and (c) please stop being offended... it's not a personal affront on you...

here's some stuff that i don't like... in no particular order... please don't be offended...

brussels sprouts... i keep trying to like them, but i just don't...
raisins... ugh.  why do people insist on ruining cookies and cinnamon rolls with these heinous, ugly, little creatures?

hambugers... or really any ground up meat... in any configuration... 

 milk chocolate... is it even really chocolate? 

sour cream & onion potato chips... they also smell gross... 

oreos... or more specifically, the gross, waxy, white nastiness in the middle... i DO like the chocolate cookie part, though :)

jelly beans... worst. texture. ever. 

raw celery... who wants all those strings in their teeth? and your jaw KILLS from chewing F.O.R.E.V.E.R.
cadbury creme eggs... similar to the oreo, wth is that nasty white (and yellow) oozy stuff in the middle... it pretty much looks like snot... so, no thank you... and gross.
fake, chemically-processed sugar substitutes... not only are they horrible for your body, they leave a grody after-taste... 

french fries... i know, weird, but i just don't care about them... except for about once every 12-18 months... then i'm done...

chocolate cereal... i don't understand it... and it tastes like dirt.
the banana runts... why?  they taste like crap... all the other fruits are delicious, however! 
eggplant... it's such a pretty color on the outside, all aubergine-y and stuff, so why does it have to taste so gross?  and be so slimy when it's cooked?

I know there are hundreds of other foods I won't eat, but these are the ones that came to mind today... what foods don't you like?  comment below...