Tuesday, May 29, 2012

random what's trending tuesday... #50thingsihate edition

welcome to today's edition of "what's trending tuesday - 50 things i hate"

it's not 10 things i hate about you (awesome movie, btw) but FIVE times that... and it's trending on twitter... wtf?  so much for filling the world with love...

here are 50 things that people hate... in no particular order...
(taken directly from the #50thingsIHate twitter feed)

  1. stupid people (i'm pretty sure this is my number one, too)
  2. a pretty girl that smokes
  3. awkward silences
  4. my exes
  5. chipped nail polish
  6. spiders
  7. when the padding in my bikini top gets all messed up (shouldn't the padding in your bikini be your... nvm...)
  8. being drunk and jumping into 2ft deep of water and locking my keys in my running car that same night (not drinking might be an option here)
  9. people who say band isn't a sport (band isn't a sport)
  10. people that actually name 50 things they hate
  11. people who call themselves different (just like everybody else)
  12. the girl who flirts with everyone
  13. correcting my spelling when his is incorrect.  come at me bro
  14. stupid twitter trends that ask for lists of things that couldn't possibly fit the 140 character limit
  15. fake sports fans
  16. when people write "no filter" on instagram.  i don't care if you used a filter or not
  17. when i'm walking through miami and someone eats my face (i also hate when that happens)
  18. slow loading of internet
  19. calling coke and dr. pepper "pop"
  20. when you get mad and boys assume you're on your period
  21. the smell of cigarette smoke
  22. when girls pretend to be drunk
  23. pc gamers who think they are better than everyone else
  24. people who call other people ratchet when they clearly are the epitome of ratchet (nice word)
  25. when hoes call other hoes hoes
  26. when girls come to school lookin' all fancy and then can't even walk in their heels (it's called entertainment, people)
  27. not having food in my house
  28. when people purposefully make me laugh when i have a drink in my mouth
  29. bad hair days
  30. twitter, but i love tweeting... if that makes sense (it doesn't)
  31. people hovering over my food
  32. people that smack their food
  33. wearing a cute outfit and seeing no one... dressed like a hobo i see the whole world (my life)
  34. listing things i hate
  35. reading lists of things people hate
  36. when people bail at the last minute
  37. not having enough toilet paper
  38. when i forget the cape to my superhero suit... can't fly without it... and i hate walking (seriously)
  39. dora asking the same questions over and over and talking to me like i'm slow (just steal her backpack and run)
  40. fake people (like robots?)
  41. people pointing out my split ends (why are they that close to your hair?)
  42. when people walk in turtle mode in front of you
  43. douche bags that take a million shirtless flexing muscle mirror pictures
  44. dudes that wear under armor with nothing over it
  45. picking up a stuffed animal in the claw machine then all of a sudden when the claw reaches the top it falls back down (there goes that 50 cents)
  46. people who breathe (sheesh... tough crowd)
  47. buying carmex on monday, losing it on tuesday (this is why i keep carmex in 17 different locations)
  48. public restroooms
  49. banging my foot into furniture
  50. mosquito bites
clearly... lots of first world problems going on in twitterland...

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

random what's trending tuesday... #jimmycliff edition

welcome to today's edition of "what's trending tuesday - jimmy cliff edition"

what?  super surprised to see jimmy cliff trending today... dudes been jammin' the reggae tunes since the 70s... so why's he trending today?

the best i could figure out is because he was performing a new song (he has a new song?) on some bbc show, later... with jools holland... nope, never heard of it, but whatevs... don't care... just happy :)  cuz i love me some jimmy cliff!

his cover of johnny nash's "i can see clearly now" is probably my most favorite reggae song of all time... if you've been locked in a box all of your life and have no idea what song that is, go watch cool runnings, right now.  go watch it... and then get yourself the soundtrack, because on a grey and rainy spring day in seattle (exactly like today,) it will make you feel sunshiney all over (if i had a sunshine emoticon, this is where i'd put it.)

jimmy actually has a few songs that are pretty mainstream besides "i can see clearly now", like his cover of cat steven's "wild world" and "you can get it if you really want" from the soundtrack to his movie the harder they come...

but if you set yourself up with his 2-disc, 42-song anthology, you will be in reggae heaven...

my fondest memory of jimmy cliff music was from reggae night thursdays at the cavern in pullman a million years ago when i was a college student... i don't think the cavern even exists over there anymore... let along reggae night... well, it does, just in the form of a bar and grill called valhalla, but heading down the skinny stairway into the dungeon-like atmosphere to dance to reggae was a treat on thursday nights back in the day...

keep on jammin', jimmy :)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

random girl (gay) power anthems...

so... we all know that beyonce is kinda the queen of the girl power anthems... (i'm including destiny's child too, since we all know they were basically beyonce)

independent women
single ladies (put a ring on it)
run the world (girls)

too name just a few...

i haven't done any official research, but i think that these songs (and many many more like them by many many other artists) helped give many many girls/ladies/women a sense of independence and power...

but you know what kinda anthem songs i've never seen?

GAY power anthems!  (ok, i suppose lady gaga's born this way would fit into this category, but that's the only one i can think of.)

that's right... and i think it's about time we start seeing (hearing) more songs like that... and since jay-z is in the spotlight recently for backing obama's backing of marriage equality, who better to start producing these things than the man behind the woman of girl power anthems... just sayin'.

some title ideas i had... just off the top of my head...

he's the queen
homo you didn't
i'm coming out (oh wait... someone already did that, didn't they?)

sing it, girl.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

random what's trending tuesday... #nationalchocolatechipday edition...

welcome to today's edition of "what's trending tuesday - national chocolate chip day edition"

no way... national chocolate chip day??  seriously.  i haven't done any official-like checking, but it seems like every single day of the year there is something to celebrate... you know national-whatsit-whosit day?

i can get behind a holiday like this, but i think it should also come complete with a day off work... so people have time to properly celebrate the chocolate chip... there are cookies to be baked for heaven's sake!  and we all know it takes time to eat them right out of the bag... or dip them in peanut butter (yeah, try that... it's pretty awesome.)

and to think, if it weren't for "trends" i would've never known i needed to party like a chip star today...

it's clear that my life has thus far been missing that little something... and that little something is the chocolate chip, so i raise a tollhouse cookie to ya!

happy national chocolate chip day :)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

random what's trending tuesday... #shewee edition...

gonna try a new thing... devoting one blog a week (on tuesdays) to talk about what's trending on twitter... if you're on twitter, you know there's a little list on the left of your feed to show you what's trending that day... the things most twittering-types are twitting about...

and if you don't know, now you know.

welcome to today's edition of "what's trending tuesday - shewee edition"

the stuff that trends never fails to amaze me... as in, why in the h-e-double hockey sticks is that thing trending... on twitter... or anywhere?  so here goes... my first installment of "what's trending tuesday".

today the trend that caught my eye was #shewee... now i have to admit that i had no idea what a shewee was, so i clicked on it to see what kind of fascinating conversation was going on around this topic...

turns out a shewee is a urinating tool for women, you know... so we can pee like a man... because all that sitting down is evidently... exhausting...  ok, i'd be the first to admit that as a woman, one of the few things i'm a bit envious about men is the ability to pee standing up (that, and the whole menstrual thing...) but i'm not sure this fits the bill...

anyhow... men come equipped with this fancy "pee standing up" tool that women lack... and apparently "they" were right... necessity is the mother of invention (although the point of "necessity" here could be argued.)  have a watch as this fancy british gal explains how to "wee" like a man...

i'm not buying it... from what i can tell, you would just be left with a huge mess on your hands... literally... and then this other messy contraption that you would clearly have to put somewhere after you used it?  and i assume the whole point of using it would be places like camping or hiking or something like that... so what does one do with this thing that is disgustingly soiled upon one use?  and how many more things do we need in our lives to clean?

i can't even imagine how a topic like this started trending, but personally, i vote for the good old fashioned toilet... where i can have a seat... relax... and take a load off (if you will...) BUT, if you're intent on using this contraption... i have a better name...

the SheWhiz :)  because i'm super clever and stuff...

Friday, May 4, 2012

random hipster...

i'm not sure if you're as confused as i am, but i cannot figure out what it is that makes a hipster a hipster...

is it just that everything mainstream is just TOO mainstream?

is it the scarf... even in the heat of summer?

is it the overly large-framed glasses... that are likely not even prescriptionally required?  (yep... i just made up a new word... because all the regular words are too mainstream...)

on my everlasting journey to educate myself in all things completely stupid, i wasted a ridiculous amount of time researching what it means to be a hipster... and the best answer i found was neatly enclosed in a little-known sitcom "Happy Endings", i am now armed with the rules (pretty much verbatim from the episode "Dave of the Dead"... yeah, it was about zombies... and hipsters... which are almost the same thing, right?)

rule #1 - never try.  never put effort into anything.

rule #2 - only like things ironically... books, movies, tv shows, the environment... you should totally only like things because it would otherwise be totally uncool to like it... cool.

rule #3 - never show too much enthusiasm.  earth, wind & fire are playing, but you don't care, you don't wanna chair dance... whatevs.

final rule - everything is dumb... fro yo, over it.  other stuff, over it...

that's it... now you too can put the 'hip' in hipster... not that you care... you're so over it.