Thursday, April 26, 2012

random tp...

as i was (ahem) making use of a public restroom the other day, it occurred to me that the owners of these establishments (i.e. the ones who are making the executive decision as to which toilet paper to furnish these royal rooms with) have us by the short hairs.

don't get me started on those "rooms" which are completely out of this vitally necessary paper... which clearly happens enough to provide material for at least two Seinfeld scripts ("The Stall" and "The Pitch")...  or the whole over-under thing (duh, over)... not gonna cover that here...

my rant today is about those establishments that make the "money-saving" decision to outfit their stalls with the one-ply version... knowing nobody will make a stink about it... (pun intended)

i cannot even fathom why one-ply toilet paper exists...  other than being better-than-nothing, it's helpful to no one.  do you know anybody who purchases one-ply toilet paper for home use?  i don't... and i'm pretty sure if i did, it would be a deal-breaker...  if this is you, then sorry... i'm afraid we can't be friends.

as far as my "one-ply v. two-ply" research went (oh yeah, i researched) there are really just two things to consider when deciding which way to roll (damn, i am cracking myself up here - get it "crack"ing?? :)

comfort and price.

comfort is an easy sell... there is no such thing as comfortable one-ply... it is all scratchy and non-absorbent... if you want comfort, you have to spring for the two-ply.

and as far as price goes, while one-ply definitely appears less expensive than it's two-ply counterpart, it is NOT, in fact, half the price... and even if it were, would you really be saving money?  for argument sake, let's say it IS half the price... people still want the coverage provided by two-ply, so they would use twice as much... which equals exactly zero savings... but one-ply is not half the price of two-ply... it's closer to a quarter of the price, in which case, one-ply would really end up costing an establishment MORE money...

not to mention the "price" they pay for letting their customers know exactly how much they DON'T care about them... just sayin'.

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