random haters...

so here's the deal... everyone has their own opinions (we are still allowed to have our own opinions, right?)

here's my problem... i'm totally fine with my opinions... i don't really need yours, unless i ask for it... and i REALLY don't need (or want) anybody telling me that THEIR opinion should be MY opinion...

yep, there's music i like that not everybody likes... that's cool... don't like it... or like it... whatevs... but please don't give me all kinds of reasons why i shouldn't like the music i like... i don't care if you think it's "too popular" and i don't care if you think it's "too mainstream" or "too whatever"... and i don't feel the need to provide you with some detailed analysis as to why i like what i like... same goes for movies, books, art (whatever that means to you... or me...), clothes, blogs, cars, religion, politics... and a host of other things...

that said, i'd like to share a couple of my most favorite things about this subject...

the first is the reason i hear most from people as to why they don't like something... because "everybody likes it."  this one kills me because you're EXACTLY like the person who does like something because "everybody likes it."  why is whether you like it or not based on whether other people like it (or not) in the first place?  go ahead... it's ok to just like what you like... and not like what you don't like...  no matter what anybody else thinks...

and my second favorite thing is the haters... if you don't like it, don't listen to it (or watch it or read it or look at it.)  why on earth would you spend so much of your precious time actively hating on stuff?  is your life really that devoid of anything else to do?  how 'bout you go spend your time enjoying the stuff you DO like... remember, it's ok to like what you like... and not like what you don't like... please let others do the same...

kthxbye.

random stir crazy...

my broken tree :(

you may have noticed, i've been a little remiss in the blog department the last few months... they've been rough... and i was ready to crawl out of my shell and rejoin life... but then snowmaggedon, or snowpocalypse, or whatever cute little name you wanna give to this weird snowy mess that's been effing up lives in the pacific northwest for the last week... hit... and it has thrust me back into my shell for a bit... i will return... and i will eventually get back on that exercism track i was moving along on so well, and then stopped sometime back in october...

as they (whoever they are) say, this too shall pass... i just hope it passes soon...

#notafanofthesnow

random sights...

as i was switching out my disposable lenses to a fresh pair on december 15th, it occurred to me that those contacts have seen A LOT in the last two months... and they've been a filter for A LOT of tears (yeah, this isn't really starting out as "feel good" piece... fair warning... it might get better, but i won't know til the end... )

i first put these contacts in my eyes on saturday, october 15th, not an especially eventful day, except for one email from my dad... containing devastating news... his psa level was up around 7000... "off the charts" according to his doctor.  he's been battling prostate cancer for almost 6 years, and the cancer had spread to his bones and there was no getting rid of it or even keeping it under control anymore... against all of the treatments (prostatectomy, two bouts of radiation, agressive hormone therapies), the cancer was winning, and my dad had decided to "let nature take its course."  :'(  problem was, he lived in a remote mountain town in the sierra nevadas of california, with difficult access to medical services... sooo...

i scheduled and booked a trip to go down and see him on october 27th... then, on october 18th he calls to say "how flexible is your schedule?"  turns out he wanted to move the trip out a week or two and turn my visit into me going down there to help him move up here to washington... so we rebooked everything for a week later.  i was to fly down on november 3rd, pack up all of his stuff into his car and take two days to drive back to washington...

october 17th was your typical work day, BUT i did get to see my vegas girls (we call ourselves that because back in the day we used to all go to vegas together once or twice a year... but that seems to have ceased as of about 4 years ago...)  we got together for a birthday celebration, and it was great to see some friends who have moved away... good day!

october 23rd... another good day!  darbey and i went to see roman holiday on the big screen (it's the first movie of a 3-movie audrey hepburn movie series series :)  roman holiday is my FAVORITE audrey hepburn movie :)

october 26th:  my niece, kyana, had her 3rd baby... a sweet little boy named ahviel elias... congrats kyana and pete!!

then, october 27th happened... the day i was originally supposed to be flying away, leaving my kids here to hold down the fort and take care of the dogs... thank goodness the travel dates changed, because on october 27th, while the kids were at school, and i was working at home, around 10:30am, two guys tried (unsuccessfully) to break into my house... probably the scariest day of my life thus far... the police were called, and as far as i know, the guys were never caught, although they had attempted a break-in a few blocks away just 20 minutes before the police got my call (same description of guys and car.)  and now, in the midst of being freaked out, and unable to sleep or eat, i knew that in just one week, i really was going to have to fly away, leaving my kids here... alone... to hold down the fort and take care of the dogs... so i went into panic mode... i hit up the sportsmen's store and stockpiled pepper spray; i contemplated buying a shotgun; i bugged the security company daily to get them to come out as soon as possible to activate the security system; i talked to the kids to make sure they were comfortable staying here alone while i went and retrieved my dad... all of this on very little sleep or sustenance of any kind...

also going on during this time, was me trying to secure a place for my dad to live (he absolutely refused to live with us,) make sure it was furnished, and stocked with the everyday things one needs... he was bringing very little with him, just what we could fit into his suv, so there was a lot to do...

on november 3rd, i was set and ready to go... bags packed, kids settled, alarm activated, pepper spray in every single room of the house... i saw the kids off to school that morning with big hugs and tears in my eyes while THEY assured ME they would be fine... i wasn't fine... i was leaving them home alone just a week after someone had tried to break in... and i had to go get on airplane... and i hate flying... so at about 12:30pm, the shuttle express shows up to transport me to the airport and i walk out to see a LIMO parked in my driveway ?????  ummm, i definitely didn't order a limo... apparently that's what they had available, so i was getting a FREE upgrade, which seems like it would be pretty cool, but to be honest, i'm not really limo material, unless it's a wedding party, or a bunch of us girls in vegas...  being all by yourself in the way back of limo is... awkward... unless you're donald trump, i suppose...

november 3rd-5th:  getting my dad here was a whole event unto itself... you can read about it here...

november 13th... another good day.  breakfast at tiffany's on the big screen (the second movie of the 3-movie audrey hepburn movie series series.)  my favorite quote from this movie "It should take you exactly four seconds to cross from here to that door. I'll give you two." :)

november 14th... another good day!  i got to meet up with two of my good friends over some cheese and chocolate fondue at the melting pot  happy hour (the cheese and chocolate were separate :) and the conversation was GREAT!  i am super thankful for all the great friends i have...

november 17th-19th:  much less great... i flew to idaho (on short notice) to be with my mom while dealing with her husband's illnesses... oliver middlebrooks (my stepdad) passed away on november 18th with his wife of 24 years (my mom), his son, curtis, and me sitting by his side... he is greatly missed by a great many people... go here for a video montage...

november 24th (thanksgiving):  we had a fun and casual thanksgiving dinner at my house with my kids, my dad, my friend mary beth and her kids, and my friend dana and her kids.... and at some point we thought it might be a good idea to try to hit up wal-mart for the black friday stuff at 10pm... after sitting in traffic for 45 minutes, we canned that idea and went home :)  going home was the best plan EVER!

november 26th:  my niece, mikaela's baby shower!  we have been waiting to meet her little bundle of joy...  mikena kaleia arrived (finally!) on december 16th, after 25 hours of labor (but that's a new pair of contacts :)

november 29th:  my uncle harry (my mom's brother) passed away after being diagnosed with cancer only two weeks before... i'll miss you uncle harry!

december 3rd:  winterfest!  good beer... but note to self, there is never any need for me to buy more tokens than the ones allocated with the entrance fee...  drinking too much beer could cause you to pass out in the public restrooom of a pizza joint (hypothetically speaking, of course.)

december 8th:  darbey's high school of the arts, dance concert - first time i've ever seen my daughter do the splits - amazing!

december 15th:  new contacts!  new things to see...  until next time...

random memories of oliver...

i remember the day my mom called to tell me about this wonderful man she met on a bus tour... and that was the beginning of their story...

they got engaged and were married on january 21, 1988 at the museum of flight in seattle... oliver was fascinated by all sorts of transportation, and was a pilot for a time, making the museum of flight the perfect location... but the perfection of the wedding location wasn't what mattered here... my mom and oliver found something that few people ever find in life, perfect love.

oliver middlebrooks, jr. passed away on november 18, 2011 (just a couple months shy of his 84th birthday) at 10:22pm... he was surrounded by my mom, helen middlebrooks, his son, curtis, me, and one of his hospice caretakers when he took his last quiet, peaceful breath...

he was an amazing man, full of spirit and joy and curiosity about seemingly everything... he became a part of my family that day in 1988, and there was no way not to love and appreciate him... even though i had already moved out on my own, he was always there for me, and once i had kids, he was grandpa oliver to them... but more importantly, he was there for my mom... i'm thankful every day for the wonderful 25 years she had with him...

turn on your speakers and enjoy this photo montage of some of those 25 years...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD5vUzijNgo

random daddy issues...

my dad, doug, orion and darbey in the summer of (i'm guessing) 1999?

ha... no, not THOSE kinda daddy issues :)  mine involve the whole arduous process of moving my father from his small town (we're talking population 900ish) in california up here to washington state... all in a matter of about two weeks... whew.

first thing that had to happen was to find the man a place to live... so apartment hunting ensued... i was looking for inexpensive rent, but it turns out that the cheap apartment complexes are seriously G.R.O.S.S.  i wouldn't wish a place like that on my worst enemy... G.R.O.S.S.     but... finally found him a place close by... did you know that trying to rent an apartment for someone else is nearly impossible?  it was a fight at every turn, i mean, i'm glad things are electronic now, cuz that helped speed some things up, but we're talking about a 75-year-old man here... electronics are not his forte...  and there was only one chick in the leasing office who wasn't annoying... or a bitch...  but nonetheless... apartment leased... check.

next up, furniture... he decided to go with rental furniture so (a) he didn't have to figure out how to move his furniture from cali to here; and (b) when he's done with it, the rental company can just come and take it away... no trying to find people with trucks and muscles and stuff... so, furniture picked out, ordered, and delivered... check.

next up, get my dad (and the stuff he's bringing with him) here... and so starts three difficult and trying days... so, the plan was for me to fly into reno, have his friends pick me up at the airport and drive me to his house (about a 2-hour drive down parts of nevada and into the eastern border of california... a way up in the sierra nevada mountains...)  followed by my dad and i packing his SUV full of everything he's bringing and setting off on two 9-hour days of driving back to washington...

so, the flight... i hate flying... hate it... i should've brought drugs, or alcohol, or both... but i didn't, and reno was having a major windstorm, so the landing was something akin to a hellish rollercoaster ride... i hate rollercoasters... hate them... so... i LOST it... there was hyperventilating... there were tears... there were well-meaning people around me trying to calm me down, telling me to "imagine i was somewhere peaceful"... yeah, none of that worked... tears were still streaming down my face and my knuckles were completely white from death-gripping the arms of the seat... fortunately, the plane landed safely on the earth, and i was probably not ever in any real danger... but my logical mind doesn't ever stick around to help me through things like that, so i ended up making a complete fool of myself... anyhow...  flight...  check.

on my way to the baggage claim, i ran into my dad's friends (who were there to pick me up), which saved me a lot of phone calling and searching and stuff... so we grabbed my suitcase and off we went on the 2-hour drive to bridgeport (california... not connecticut) which was interrupted briefly by a stop for chinese food... where i ate WAY too much... and my dad's friends (who also happen to be married to each other... with strong hungarian accents... in their 70s... and my dad's landlords for the past 20-some-odd years...) were making jokes about the tapioca... i'm fairly sure there was a comment about 'that pudding with the little balls' that started a wave of 'balls' jokes... and while i share many a 'balls' joke with my kids and friends, i'm not used to sharing 'balls' jokes with people in their 70s, which made the whole thing even funnier... good times... good times...  drive to bridgeport... check.

holy cow... my dad's apartment was a M.E.S.S.!  he had the pile that was going to be traveling with us... and then there was everything else... he had a couple boxes of pictures and stuff, and some dvd's and cd's for me to go through to see what i wanted, so i did that that night and then hit the hay... long long day... check.

friday morning it was up and at 'em at 6am... all of his buddies were coming by at 8am to help pack up the SUV, and bonus... it was snowing... if you know me, you know i don't do snow, and i especially don't drive in snow... well, except for that day, apparently... goody... more white knuckles... we hit the road about 9am... made a couple of stops... and proceeded cautiously up the 395... fortunately, the snow only lasted about 30 miles and the rest of the drive to yreka, california, was free and clear... in fact it was like 56 degrees in yreka in the late afternoon... we were thankfully past any more danger of snow driving... or so we thought...

saturday morning... guess what was falling out of the sky?  oh yeah... more snow... are you effing kidding me with this?  this time it lasted until we got off the mountain that ashland, oregon is on... and up at ashland, there was about 2 feet of visibility... i should've probably been wearing diapers cuz i was close to pooping myself... could this trip be any more terrifying?  well, as with the flight... and the drive on friday... we made it back home... safe and sound and alive... but with far less hair (and the hair that was left was decidely greyer than it had been just three short days before)  home... check.

it has now been a week since i started out on this journey and my dad is all moved in and mostly settled into his new little apartment, much closer to us, which is awesome, cuz we can finally spend some real quality time with him... welcome to your new home, daddy :)