random runnings...

so this morning i woke up early and headed on down into the kent valley to our local horse race track... i'm not a gambler... nobody's ever known me to bet on the ponies... what the h??  turns out there was a 5K going on... The Smith Brothers' Farm Inaugural Milkman 5000 Road Race.. now what cows have to do with horses, I have no clue, but there we were... ready to run... hoping to make it all the way to the end where the chocolate milk was waiting (gag.)

how did i do, you may ask?  well, it wasn't great... i have done almost no training all summer, and my only saving grace was that this particular race was an all flat course... except for that last mile... well it was theoretically flat (meaning no uphills or downhills to worry about...)  what it was, though, was the actual racetrack... the one the horse's race on... in that soft, fluffy, dirt/horse poop combo... it was almost worse than running on dry sand... and i'm blaming it on my pbt going UP by 6 minutes... ugh.

here's my view from way out on the racetrack... the finish line was over by the building!!

so, i guess i can't COMPLETELY blame the race track, cuz here's this guy in front of me, on the  paved section of the race... yeah, he beat me... i suck.

there was also a 75-year-old man there who ran the whole thing in about 25 minutes... yeah, he beat me too... i suck.

so a pathetic 42 minutes later, i crossed the finish line... skipped the chocolate milk, and went straight for the bagels and water and was off to find my friends who did MUCH better than i did :)  thanks for waiting for me Joe and Tom!!

joe, liana, and tom... post race :)

now it's time for me to find the next race on my docket...

#trainingmatters

random ziggers... part two...

ok... it's been almost two weeks now and the ziggers is finally starting to settle in and become part of the fam damily, but we definitely have some training to do... is it really true that you can't teach an old dog new tricks?  god, i hope not....

here he is, giving orion a run for his money on the hardwood:



(featuring the recording and editing talents of darbey)

#ilovedogs

random mondays...

why are some mondays so... mondayish??  i mean seriously, they really live up to their name... that was today... a day i am now deeming "hot mess monday"

now, i'm pretty sure there is only one way for a "hot mess monday" to start, and that's with waking up... late... check.

next, you need to have at least three unexpected (and time consuming) things happen that you clearly (due to waking up late) don't have time for...

1. the dog REFUSES to go outside...
2. your hair REFUSES to look good... no matter how many times you try to fix it...
3. you are out of gas... 

check... check... and check...

after all of that, when you FINALLY get your butt on the road, just today (hot mess monday) it would seem that everyone who forgot to do their leisurely sunday driving yesterday, is out doing it this morning... in the fast lane... check.  (bonus:   after i was able to pass this douchebag, i got flipped off... so double check.)

now, it's 9:29am and you are supposed to be running a meeting at 9:30am... and you are still on the freeway... check.

and your phone is buried somewhere in your computer bag, making it impossible, or at least death-defying, to retrieve it and call somebody... check.

so, you have finally made it to the conference room... late... and, of course, there's your boss waiting for the afore-mentioned meeting... check.

and, the conference room you're in has some crazy space-aged system where every damn thing is controlled by the amazing crestron (it's actually kinda cool, cuz it controls the lights, the phones, the computers, the projectors, and a bunch of other tech-y stuffs)  BUT, you need to have the password to log on... which you have, except that the password has been changed, and nobody has bothered to communicate that information to you...  check.

and the piece of paper with the name of the people who can actually help in this situation is back at home... check.

so you have to call and wake up your son to see if he can find this random piece of paper amongst all the other junk, magazines, catalogs, unopened mail, and dog collars... and relay the information to you... check.

(meanwhile, you are all still standing in a dark conference room... check.)

and, omg... kill me now.

happy hot mess monday, everyone.

#ihatemondays

random vids...

ok, my daughter (darbey) has been trying her hand at creating herself some youtube videos... and i feel inclined to share them with the blog world...

this all started about a month ago... she made me a "happy birthday mom" vid full of pictures of all my celeb crushes and her and her brother, etc... all set to music...  enjoy...

next up is from a few nights back, when the boredom of summer was truly setting in... 

and yesterday, was her intense room cleaning... 

the first one was super sweet and made me cry on my birthday (happy tears!!)  the second two are just funny and nutty... just like darbey!  she's getting exponentially better with every video... maybe she'll become some kind of youtube sensation and will support me in my senior years???  i can hope....

random toys...

earlier this evening, for some reason, i started thinking about all the toys my kids have had over their 16+ years, and frankly, most of them are not memorable... the ones that are, however, are only memorable because they creeped me the freak out!

My Buddy

Chucky

this first one someone got for my son, orion, for some holiday... i apologize to whoever got this for him if you're reading this, but that My Buddy doll looked EXACTLY like Chucky, and there was no way i was waking up with some creepy doll standing over me with an axe saying "wanna play?"  oh hell no.  buhbye...

the second toy was Tickle Me Cookie Monster... TMCM had a serial killer laugh and would go off, laughing, at random times, when nobody was even near it... like the middle of the night... if I had a gun, i probably would've shot it... imagine hearing this in the room down the hall in the dead quiet of night...

sweet dreams...

random vehicle musings...

it seems like pretty much anywhere i go, i have to drive to get there, which means other drivers, and other cars... and i also know that there are little things about other drivers and other cars that kind of annoy me.  not to the point of me shooting someone in the head, but i may have possibly "fantasized" about shooting someone in the head over such things (i'm just kidding, don't get your panties in a twist.)  i've noted some of these annoyances below... do they irritate you like they irritate me? or do i just need to chill my balls?

ONE:  those "this is my family" stick figure decals.  you know what i'm talking about, there's the dad in a stick figure suit, and the mom in her stick figure june cleaver dress, and the stick figure boy with some sort of sports ball, and the stick figure girl in her cheerleader or ballerina garb, and, of course, little stick figure fluffy and spot are there to represent, too!  and they're always lined up from tallest to shortest like those cingular "raising the bar" ads... i hate those damn things... i don't even know why exactly, they just irritate me.  it could possibly be because they always seem to be on the back windows of minivans... do you really need to dork that vehicle up anymore?  please stop the stick figure insanity.

TWO:  stuffed animals in the back window that are clearly meant for car decoration (not because some kid left them back there) ... they are not cute, put them back in that basket in the play room... please... or give them to your stick figure dog to de-stuff...



THREE:  pt cruisers and those wanna be pt cruisers, the chevy h-something or other... especially when people paint flames on them... or when they're of the convertible persuasion... or worse, both.

FOUR:  short guys in giant trucks... what is this about?  are you late to the monster truck rally??  no.  you are clearly compensating... so you're vertically challenged, just own it.  i really only mention this because on one of our days in seaside, darbey and i were walking up to the grocery store and this GIANT truck pulled into the parking lot (taking up at least two spaces when he parked his monstrosity)  and when the guy jumped out of the truck, the hood of this thing was a good six inches ABOVE his head!  he wasn't a "little person" either, just your average joe who was not blessed with height... now that was a moment i wish i could take pictures with my eyes...  dude, get yourself a pt cruiser.

at this point i feel it necessary to point out that these are not in order of annoyance, but in RANDOM order (makes sense, huh, this being a "random liana" blog and all :)

FIVE:  people who drive in the fast lane in a not fast fashion... if you want to drive the exact speed limit (or slower than the person behind you), then please do so in one of the other 4-5 lanes to your right... this is a fairly universal "rule of the road" on most highways and interstates... let's all get on board :)

SIX:  people who tailgate me... nuff said.

that is all my brain can come up with today, but tomorrow, i'll be back on the road and will find at least one more thing to rant about, and i'll be back here, updating this post... i know that'll keep you checking back!  #carnoyances

random songs...

so, recently i was reminded of a little ditty i made up awhile back... i think it's hilarious, but many people find it offensive... especially people with feet issues :)  imagine these lyrics set to music:

foot sandwich,

where the feet,

are the bread,

and the meat...

FOOT SANDWICH!

another random song comes to mind that's also kinda gross... in fact, more gross than the foot sandwich song... my darling daughter and i collaborated on the lyrics... if you know the song "stop and stare" by one republic, this is set to the chorus:

stop and poo

you think it's coming but it's stuck in you

so you have to take a laxative

then it's coming out your butt

do you smell what i smell

i know, grody, right?  just thought i'd share :)  enjoy your lunch!

#teachingtheworldtosing

random yum!

ARE YOU HUNGRY?

that "random produce..." post wasn't just blowing hot air, i actually made everything i set out to... and took pictures along the way... there's no way you're not gonna be hungry after checking this out!

BBQ PULLED PORK SANDWICHES WITH SPICY CABBAGE SLAW

these are INCREDIBLE!  i slow cooked a pork shoulder in the crockpot, fork-shredded it, and mixed it with my own homemade bbq sauce... to serve, put on a soft potato roll, top with spicy slaw, and stuff your face!

CAPE COD COBB SALAD

all the parts and pieces

all bagged up

i found this recipe on www.foodnetwork.com and adapted it to create my own individual salad kits... this, i have decided, is an awesome idea!  i know i should be eating more salads, but i'm lazy and sometimes all the work of cutting everything up when i want to eat a salad is just not something i want to do... especially when grabbing that bag of chips is SO much easier ;)  i will definitely be using this method more often!  what's great is that you decide what kind of salad you want, you pick all the ingredients you love,  and you even make your own salad dressing (it's super simple) and pack that in there too!  those salad-in-a-bag people really had something, but have you ever checked the calorie count on those babies??

KALE CHIPS

i really liked the idea of this, and they came out nice and crispy, i just wasn't too fond of them... if you really love kale, though, and crunchy things, give them a try... (no pic for this one... i ate them all... just to make sure i didn't like them that much :)

ZUCCHINI BRAN MUFFINS

these little cupcake-sized zucchini muffins are so moist and delicious, i could eat one for breakfast every single day!  and they're super healthy!  not an ounce of oil or butter in them...

ZUCCHINI AND KALAMATA OLIVE FLATBREAD

ok, this was really more like a pizza, with no sauce... you can't see the zucchini in the picture because it's underneath everything else... if i make these again, i'll cut back on the feta cheese by about half... there was waaayyyy too much on there... i'm still eating it, though :)

LEMON BASIL CUPCAKES

i only have one word for these babies... OHMIGOD!  i made a lemon-blueberry fruit sauce and some homemade, hand-whipped, vanilla whipped cream, and then topped it all off with some giant, super-sweet, fresh blueberries... this right here is heaven on a plate...

i'm looking forward to seeing what deliciousness abounds in my next my box of produce... and it's almost wednesday again!  if any of this looks so good, you just have to make it for yourself, let me know... no secret recipes here, i'll share :)

#howamistillhungry

random acts of kindness... not!

so yesterday we had a mildly annoying thing happen on the way home from grocery shopping... there was a random piece of metal in the road and i drove right over it getting it stuck under my car.  this thing made such a grueling, scraping sound as i drove that i had to pull off the road to figure out how to get it out from under my car...

clearly, there was no way we were just pulling this thing out, that baby was WEDGED IN like a middle-school geek's underpants after a good teasing by the school bully... no, this required lifting the car off the ground, and since superman was nowhere to be found (thanks for that, man of steel) i opted for the jack, which was in the trunk with the spare tire, underneath an entire week's full of groceries, and other "trunk stuff" that lives in my trunk.

we proceeded to unload the trunk full of groceries (and other "trunk stuff" that lives in my trunk) onto the sidewalk so i could try to find the jack i have never used, ever...  once i found the jack, i had to try to figure out how to use it (why don't they put instructions on those things?)  so there we are (me and my kids - ok, fine, they're teenagers, but that doesn't sound as dramatic), on the side of the road with all the groceries and "trunk stuff" strewn about the sidewalk...  and i'm on the ground trying to figure the damn jack out, which i finally did, but that's not the point of the story...

what is the point of the story, you ask?  let's go back to the title "random acts of kindness... not!"  that's exactly what i got from the grown man who walked right past me (on the ground, next to my car, obviously a total fail at using a jack), my two kids, and all our crap, on the side of the road... that's right, he just walked right on past... he even had to walk on the grass to get around all of our crap... did he stop and ask if we needed any help?  nope.  did he even glance in our direction as if to find out if we might be silently pleading for some help?  absolutely not... he was a genius at avoiding eye contact... this grown man... is chivalry completely dead?  all of you dudes out there, i ask you, if you were the ones walking past this scene, would you stop to help?

now, i don't mean to just pick on the male species here, because about 16 years ago, i was in a situation where a member of the fairer sex had a chance to provide me with some assistance and simply drove away... here's what happened...

my now teenagers were somewhere in the neighborhood of 9-10 months old and we (me and my kids) had just finished up some shopping at costco... my son was in that place in the front of the cart meant for kids to sit, and my daughter was in the back of the cart with all of our purchases.  i rolled the cart up as close as i could to the car, popped the trunk, and started tossing in the industrial-sized packs of... well, everything... and in the blink of an eye my daughter took a nose dive between the cart and the car and landed flat on her head on the pavement.  yes, i was completely FREAKED OUT!  there were no cell phones, at least in my universe, and i had two babies, one who just fell on her head (which, if you know her, explains A LOT! :)  as i was picking her up off the ground, i started looking around to see if there was a pay phone somewhere (not that i had any idea who to call) and there, in the next row over, was this woman looking right at us... i caught her eye, we made ACTUAL eye contact, and then she just got in her car and drove away... did she not just see my baby fall on her head?  did she not see that i was alone with two babies, one of whom just fell on her head??  now, i ask you, how do see something like that and not immediately go running over to help?  how??  i have no answer... i am, to this day, baffled by her behavior.

the moral of these stories is this (insert here that slow, soothing music you always hear at the end of Full House when Danny is about to explain the "lesson" of the episode to DJ and those other two girls):  if you cross paths with someone who might need help, and they look as sweet and innocent as me and my kids do (i couldn't keep a straight face saying that, but whatever) at the very least, stop and ASK if they need help... that is all... thanks for listening... rant resolved.  #notafanofmeanpeople

random ziggers...

ok... so our new dog, ziggy, has been here for a grand total of one hour... if that... and so far we have learned the following:

• he can jump REALLY high!
• you probably don't want to get your hand in the way of the toy he wants (i have teeth marks to prove this one)
• he... is... a... thief!  in the blink of an eye, he jumped up and grabbed a slice of darbey's pizza, right out of her pizza box... which was in her lap!
• he is allergic to grains... so the pizza stealing had to be dealt with stat!
• he's trying really hard to dominate satie by humping her... she is NOT having it!
• he sits when i say "sit", but doesn't stay when i say "stay"... but then neither does satie...
• getting him to sit still long enough to take a not-blurry picture is seemingly impossible
• his fur looks like it would be rough to the touch, he's even called a "rough coat jack russell", but it's actually super soft
• when he plays tug 'o war and tries to shake the toy out of your hand, he sounds like he's gurgling water (it's seriously funny :)
• he brings a little mouthful of his kibble into the living room, drops it on the floor, and THEN eats it
• having two dogs is going to be an adjustment
• he is CRAZY... and CRAZY CUTE!
• satie is just going to have to get used to having a big brother :)
• we heart him already

#wussupdog

random produce...

this week's haul

     WEDNESDAYS   i love wednesdays... when i wake up on wednesday mornings and open the front door to grab the paper, there is always another wonderful surprise waiting there for me... my weekly box of organic produce.  i eagerly open the box, check the contents against the packing slip, and then start planning what to make with it all... i rifle through recipes, peruse foodie sites, and flip through cookbooks until i find things that suit my fancy for that week's haul... seriously, check this out!  i've got savoy cabbage, green leaf lettuce, kale, arugula, fennel, baby carrots, zucchini, purple radishes, avocados, oranges, apricots, plums and pluots... how i will ever eat it all in one week, i do not know, but i'm willing to make an effort :)

     ORGANIZATION   you may notice that all this produce is neatly packed up and organized here, but i assure you, it does not arrive that way... it's fresh from the farm to the box to my doorstep, the best way to get produce... given that, there's something else to look forward to on wednesdays... produce processing!  an activity that is best accompanied by 80's music (thank you, pandora!) to the disdain of my kids... ok, they don't hate the 80's music per se, more my rendition of every song that comes on (there's usually singing and dancing involved.)

the spinner

     PRODUCE PROCESSING   the best part of produce processing for me is the lettuce'y stuffs... ya know why??  cuz i get to use one of my favorite kitchen gadgets, the salad spinner!  i chop up all the lettuce first (and whatever else i'm gonna spin) while it's still dirty, toss it into a sink full of cold water, swish it around a bit and wait for all the dirt and stuff to sink to the bottom... then into the salad spinner it goes... there's no greater satisfaction than pumping that thing 8-10 times and watching it spin, almost uncontrollably, until the stuff inside is all nice and dried off...  now it's into labeled ziploc bags, ready for my delicious recipes... i think the one i'm looking forward to most this week is barbecue pulled pork sandwiches with spicy cabbage slaw (made with carrots and purple radishes)  i am SO hungry thinking about it... tomorrow, i shop!

what i'm making this week:

• bbq pulled pork sandwiches with spicy slaw garnish (but you already know that!)
• a cape cod inspired cobb salad (with arugula, fennel, turkey bacon, apple, toasted walnuts, dried cranberries, bleu cheese, and an orange-dijon viniagrette)
• kale chips (this will be my first time, so we'll see... but you toss the kale in olive oil, and s&p, and bake until crispy... then sprinkle with a little brown sugar and nutmeg)  will it replace lays dill pickle chips?  never, but at least it's a healthier option!
• zucchini bran muffins
• zucchini and kalamata olive flatbread
• lemon basil cupcakes

anybody gonna be hungry over the next week?  i'm sure i'll have plenty to share :)  #eatingwell